Life in the Brotherhood
by Catarinamer
Summary: While Ezio runs around Rome like a dangerous but helpful lunatic, his assassins have lives of their own, so claims Laura Boccanera as she recounts her hectic life in the Brotherhood.
1. Chapter 1

I glanced up from where I was scouring the bookshelf at the new recruit. A man still wearing civilian clothes, looking about him in awe, confidently approached me. "Scusi, signorina, but what do I – "

"Go ask Primo for some Assassin robes," I cut him off, not even bothering to look up at him again. He paused, and I elaborated because it seemed that he wasn't going to leave me alone. "In the room to the right of this one, there'll be two men over by the desk. It actually doesn't matter which one you ask, to be honest."

He shifted, obviously a bit taken aback. But he quickly regained his annoying attitude. Most of the recruits were arrogant when they started… "Perhaps, bella, you would be the one to help me? Your company would be much nicer than-"

"Or, stronzo," I suggested, "you can leave me alone." I glared up at him under my Florentine crimson hood, and he finally backed off. When he left the room, a deep chuckle sounded behind me. I nearly started but calmed myself down when I realized it was Ezio Auditore, Master Assassin and Il Mentor. I bowed deeply.

"Most all the new recruits are cocky, it seems." He noticed, and I nodded in agreement.

"You picked this one out?" I asked, making sure to be respectful.

He shrugged. "I was in the neighborhood, and at least he can fight a little." Stretching, the assassin inquired, "have you seen Eden? She's disappeared again…"

"I think she's visiting Leonardo."

He thanked me, and I couldn't help but asking before he left, "Signore?" I paused, gathering the courage to go through with my question. My leader looked at me expectantly. "I noticed you've been keeping most of here, especially Ghita and I, so I wanted to know…"

"You wanted to know why?" I nodded timidly. He smiled and patted my shoulder. "I think we may have our hands full soon. You and Ghita definitely need to be here in Roma." I didn't press him, instead nodded and bowed as he left the room. He needed both Ghita and I to be there? We were the most experienced of the recruits, the first to reach the rank of Assassino. What operation was so big he needed both of us? I resolved to go straight to Ghita.

I found my close companion sitting in front of the fire, fixing her bracers. She glanced up when she saw me coming. "Ciao!" she chirped cheerfully. "You ask when we're gonna get a contract?"

"Kinda. Il Mentor said we're going to have a lot on our hands soon, and that's why he's keeping us here…"

She raised an eyebrow. "The man who broke into the Borgia's backyard says we're going to have a lot on our hands."

"Yup."

"Awesome!" I did not share her enthusiasm.

From now on, whenever Ezio says we'll have a lot on our hands, I will know to expect something completely ridiculous. Like watching my fellow recruits and guild leader dress like ancient Roman guards for a play. Wait. What? As if that wasn't enough, our main goal was to save an actor. Who was playing Jesus Christ. What?

But I tensed, watching Ezio and his assassins with my eagle vision as they nonchalantly took their correct route for the play. I felt my internal clock counting down, and I silently begged Ezio to end it quickly; the stress was nerve-racking, even though I was a fully trained Assassin. As if hearing my request, Ezio abandoned his position in the play, and after a short sprint Micheletto had the pleasure of feeling a hidden blade plunge into his body. Except, Ezio didn't kill him. Instead, he ordered the actors to cut Pietro down (much to their confusion), and the moment he called, "Hold off the guards!" I sprang from my perch on the broken wall and right onto a guard's neck, effectively breaking it. Ghita and the other Assassins joined me.

The mission wasn't as near as difficult for me as I'd thought, since mercenaries barged through to offer their help. The major battle in the Colosseum was over in moments, and I sprinted in the direction my leader had taken to help. However, it seemed I wasn't needed; he'd already delivered the actor to the closest doctor. Why? I wondered. Was Pietro injured in the fighting? Most of the blood that was smeared on his body was rather obviously fake. The remaining, real blood appeared to be Ezio's, since the actor had no wounds.

"Il Mentor?" I asked as he took the moment to change into his usual clothes from behind a short wall. I stood on the other side, waiting. "Are you injured? Was Pietro?"

The doctor turned to me. "This man was poisoned," he explained, regarding Pietro. "It's a good thing you got him here as quickly as you did, signore."

Coming to stand over the man he'd just saved, Ezio demanded, "The key to the Castel Sant'Angelo. Now." When the man attempted a lie, Ezio flatly told him that Cesare had found out about him and Lucrezia. Pietro promptly dropped the key into his open hand at this. I smirked.

As I paid the doctor for his services (last time Ezio had paid for my own visit to the doctor's), I vaguely noticed Ezio staring the direction of the Colosseum. Maybe keeping watch for guards. I quickly changed my assumption when he shouted, "Un momento! You were at the Auditore Villa during the attack!" The man he was pointing to immediately flat-out ran away from him.

Ezio gave chase, and after a shocked moment, I did too. I'd only heard a short version of what attack Ezio had been talking about, when he'd told Ghita and I about Cesare, and I vaguely wondered if this thief – that was what the man dressed like – had been an ally or not. He certainly wasn't acting like one as he led us through a mad goose chase, attracting more guards than I'd prefer. I held the first wave of them back singlehandedly, buying Ezio some time. I felt an arrow whiz past my shoulder as my leader initiated an arrow storm. It was probably Severino, the bastardo. It was well known he hated me. I'd confront him later. Now I was going to be a good little assassin and slit these guards' throats.

I was actually rather amused when Ezio finally did catch the bastard, because he literally threw himself at the doomed man. They even rolled a few times. I wasn't close enough to hear my leader interrogate the thief, but as I closed the distance, I did see the man force Ezio's blade down his throat. Ezio pulled away and the man dropped onto the stone.

"Signore," I panted, but he cut me off.

"I have to get to La Volpe!" And raced off. Did he have infinite energy or something? I hesitated to go with him. He hadn't really told me what to do…was I dismissed or ordered to follow? I chose the safe way and attempted to tail him, but he left me in the dust. Great. A man in his forties was faster than me. And I was twenty-five. Dammit. A forty-two year old was younger than a twenty-five year old. I spent the entire way back to Tiber Island complaining to myself about old men with abnormally impressive athletic skills.

Right until I heard a burst of laughter from my latest complaint and look up to see Eden snickering and elbowing the very man I'd been whining about, with Machiavelli and La Volpe smiling. He was glaring at me. …I'd been speaking out loud. Dammit.

* * *

Author's note: Eden belongs to Lionpawheart. This chapter takes place in Sequence 7, but the story bounces around. There are spoilers in the story, of course. Also, I may have made some stupid mistakes because one, I have fever and two, I am new to this site. Bear with me here, please!

(Edit: Fixed a few things. ._. This site is still not very user friendly...)


	2. Chapter 2

Glaring at my target, I carefully extracted myself from the hay, making sure not to make too much noise. He didn't notice me. I crouched, bending my knees and pulling my shoulders in, my neck out. A tentative step forward. Beat. Still I remained undetected. Another step, another beat. He looked in my direction, and I froze.

In a panic, he leapt off the ledge, and I yelped, flailing after. Obviously, though, I would never be able to catch such a target. He got away.

I was left holding only a feather.

Primo laughed so hard he had to support himself on the wall. "What, can't catch a pigeon?"

"They fly!" I cried defensively. "Do I look like I have wings?"

"In the mornings, occasionally your hair can create such an effect, yes."

I chunked a stick at him. It bonked the assassin in the head, and he looked at it with mild curiosity as it fell to the ground. There was an awkward silence.

"Well," Primo started, but didn't really seem to have anything to say. We stared at the stick.

I glanced back at where the pigeon had been. "Honestly, though, how do you train pigeons to do _anything_?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"You're so helpful."

"Helpful. Like throwing sticks. Or chasing after pigeons."

"Yes. Exactly."

Our eyes reunited at the sight of the stick again. "…So, yeah, then," I started eloquently. "I guess I'll just…go inside."

Primo snorted. "Hide your shame, Laura. Hide your shame."

Author's note: You guuuuuuuys. I haven't touched this since January. _I'm really sorry you guys._


	3. Chapter 3

"Maestro Ezio!" I cried with some distress. The elder Assassin immediately turned to me, probably expecting irate guards, or at least bracing himself for bad news. Or maybe he was expecting a riot of minstrels, like last time.

However, I had none of those. "Maestro," I breathed again, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I need help with something." It was hard to get the plaintive distress out of my voice, and Eden raised an eyebrow at it. It was unbecoming of an Assassin, I knew, but I was too frustrated to care.

"What is it?" The Maestro asked, as any logical person would.

I didn't really answer him. Instead, I beckoned them with a wave of my hand as I turned and jogged to a little flat-roofed villa. It sat up against a cliff, and had a little garden right up against it.

My horse stared down at us from the roof.

I pointed. "I can't get him down!" The stallion nickered in response.

Ezio and Eden stared. And stared, like the absurd situation wasn't really registering.

Finally, La Maestra burst into laughter, nearly doubling over.

Ezio smiled a little in confusion, giving a small, intrigued, "_Huh_."

I gave him the puppy dog eyes. "Could you help me get him down? Please?" And I clasped my hands together for good measure, though it was really …well, really _unassassin_-like. I'm sure I looked absolutely fucking adorable. How the guards were ever afraid of me was anyone's guess.

"How did you even – nevermind, sure, I'll help," Ezio sighed, shaking his head in exasperation and brushing off his sleeves. He strode up to the villa like a man who had seen stranger things.

I smiled widely in relief. "Thank you, messere!"

Eden threw up her hands in either exasperation or just plain confusion, though she still laughed. "How did you do that? Did you like portal him up there or something?"

I blinked. "…Portal?"

"Nevermind."

We watched as Ezio stood on the roof, mussing his hair as he attempted to figure out how to get the horse off of it. Eventually the owner came home, and was greeted with the sight of three stumped assassins. And a horse on his roof.

It was _hilarious_.

* * *

AN: Here, have another chapter to maybe not really make up for months of nothing. Eden still belongs to Lionpawheart, who updates much more regularly than I do and you should go check out her stories because they are _just better_. Also, this was inspired by a picture on a very amusing Tumblr group called 'Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In The Brotherhood.' ...I feel like I advertise a lot. Oh well.

On a completely unrelated note, I found a store that sells really old video games. They sell _Nintendo Genises_. I got so excited I squealed. In public. I am not ashamed.


End file.
